So now, after reading The Basics of California Lobster Hunting On SCUBA and The Secrets To A Successful Southern California Lobster Season you are sure to come back from your trips with a bag full of lobsters.

So, once caught, what the hell do you do with them?

Take Pictures To Prove That You Are Macho

I always pose with my bugs; I look so macho holding something that looks like a giant cockroach.

TIP: Holding an average sized lobster by an antennae and close to the camera makes it look a lot larger.

Also, wearing sunglasses at night makes you look even more cool!

The “line your lobsters up and pose with them” also makes even the novice of lobster hunters look macho.

Keeping Your Lobsters In Transit

If you keep your lobsters in a net bag, they are usually able to live for 24 to 48 hours out of the water.

Putting them in fresh water or keeping them in a plastic bag will kill them fairly quickly.

I know of someone who shipped live lobsters via next day UPS in a box with holes through it, lined with wet newspaper; they arrived alive.

Putting A Lobster Out Of Its Misery

Lobsters live such miserable lives – hiding in holes during the day, and foraging for rotting flesh during the night – that if they could talk, they would probably thank you for killing them.

Boiling Alive:

So how do you know if a lobster is still alive?

As long as the carapace is still attached to the tail and it doesn’t smell like rotting seafood, it might still be alive.

If true, even the most lifeless of lobsters will start to move when you hold it above a boiling pot of water…

For those who are going to boil your lobsters and are not sadistic, make sure it’s a rolling boil; if not, your lobster will spend the last few minutes of its life swimming backwards in frantic circles around your pot until the life slowly and painfully drains from it.

If that happens, when you die, you will reincarnate into a spiny lobster and face the same torment.

Boil the lobster for 10 to 20 minutes depending on its size; it will turn a bright orange when done.

I put salt and raw garlic in the water to enhance the flavor.

Remove the tail from the carapice and split the tail down the center; remove its “vein” (aka butt hole) before eating.

I personally would not eat a dead, whole lobster; that’s why I prefer to tail and freeze my catch to eat later…

Tailing and Freezing

Remember, you have to keep the lobsters whole until you are on shore!

Usually, by that time, the lobsters are in a great amount of shock and are preparing to die anyway.

So with your gloves on, grab the carapace with one hand and the tail with your other – pull and twist the tail off.

Scrape any residual guts off the top of the tail.

Some hunters will try and be humane by smashing the lobster’s head with a hammer first, but they don’t have much of a brain, anyway.

Now, to help in the preservation process…

De-Assing The Tail

I had a hard time figuring this part out for a while, until I got a demonstration from the Divevets’ ass expert.

“The vein” down the middle of the lobster is actually its butt hole; you should remove it.

Break off one of the lobster’s antennas, take the base (large end) of the antenna, insert it up the asshole about a quarter to a half inch, give it a twist and pull the antenna back out.

The whole butt hole vein should follow.

Need pictures?

Here is an illustrated guide on how to tail and de-ass your lobsters.

Freezing Your Lobster Tails

I take a freezer bag and mark on the outside with a sharpie, the date, where caught and the words “raw lobster – de-veined” (that helps if I give them away) and put them in my freezer; they have stayed good for nine months in that condition.

Some hunters will vacuum pack the tails in the bag, but I hear the tail’s spikes puncture the plastic.

Remember, the DFG state that you cannot have more than seven lobster tails in your possession at one time, including your freezer; but, I have heard of hunters giving them away to family members in their household.

When you’re ready to eat the tails, thaw them in warm water for 10 minutes or so; the shell will turn an orange color in the process.

2008 Lobster Season Predictions

Since I do so well at the race track, I’ll lend my talent to predicting the 2008 lobster season.

If the weather stays moderate, with only a few storms late this year, the 2008 lobster season should be better than last year’s, but not as good as the 2006 season.

During the 2006 season, divers and hoop netters were limiting on practically every trip.

That cleaned a lot of the bugs from the coast, leading to speculation that there was a lobster shortage in the 2007 season; I think there was only a shortage of lobsters caught.

Storms last season continued into February and March, keeping the lobsters deep.

Late in the season, the lobsters weren’t shallow, and they weren’t as “deep” as 120 feet; but, in talking with some tech divers who dove the Sacramento wreck, which rests at 300 feet, I was assured, “the lobsters are all down at 240 feet and deeper.”

So, last season, they were chased deeper and never had a reason to come back shallow before the season ended.

With the weather having stayed fairly mild this summer and lobsters being spotted in the shallows recently, we should have a good 2008 season.

Lobster Recipes

I personally don’t prepare lavish lobster recipes, but I have never had a complaint.

Boil and eat:

If you’ve boiled your lobsters alive, just keep the heat on until they’re done; again, 10 to 20 minutes depending on the size, just like in the example above.

If you over cook them, the meat will be mushy.

Cut down the middle of the shell lengthwise, split and – if you haven’t done this yet – take the vein out.

Serve American style with melted butter, or Mexican style with Tapatio sauce.

Bake and eat:

Take a thawed or raw, de-asses lobster tail, split it lengthwise and put it on a large sheet of aluminum foil.

I put butter, garlic and salt on top of the meat; you can also put olive oil, Parmesan cheese, or whatever you think might go good with lobster.

Wrap the tails in the foil and put in the oven for 10 to 20 minutes at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit; the time depends on the size of the tails.

The last five minutes, unwrap the tails, add more butter or olive oil and let the top brown.

Be sure not to let the meat get too dehydrated, otherwise it will stick to the shell.

Lobsters do not make an entire meal by themselves.

I serve mine with steak, green beans and mashed potatoes; so American is this dish, that I have given it the name “George Bush’s Favorite Meal.”

I will collect and post other recipes throughout the season, as I obtain them.

An official Department of Fish and Game lobster brochure can be found here.

If you find yourself in the situation of having more than seven lobster tails at one time this season, and no friends to give them to, you can send excess frozen tails to the address on my contact page; please send me an email so I will be sure to pick them up before they thaw and rot.

Good luck this season!

Long Point (aka The Old Marineland), Palos Verdes, California

Dove With New Chris

In With: 3000 psi
Out With: 1800 psi
Max depth: 40 feet
Waves: Slight chop, a few pounders at the shoreline
Visibility: Four to eight feet, silty
Water Temperature: About 57 degrees
Total Bottom Time: About 20 minutes
Notable Event: How long does a diver have to be gone, before he is considered missing?

Today is not only the traditional dive and debrief, but a birthday celebration, too – TwinDuct and Hollywood share September 7th as a birth date.

Reverend Al, New Chris, Bob W. and I stood above the cliff wondering whether to call the dive; it looked really green.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t really go anywhere else due to the scheduled party.

We geared up and walked to The Point; between calm lulls were sets of big, crashing waves.

Reverend Al, TwinDuct, Bob and Steve went off the Point; a few divers made some scary looking entrances into the water.

New Chris and I called the Point and went off the cove; I figured vis was going to be crappy, so why risk my life for that?

We entered the cove and met another diver who had fallen behind his group due to an equipment problem.

I asked if he wanted to dive with us, he agreed.

I turned to Chris for the signal to descend and then looked back; the other diver was nowhere to be seen but we saw and descended on his bubbles.

His bubbles were moving and I lost sight of them, so Chris and I ascended and waited for a few minutes.

“Well, I guess he’s going solo, but I really wish he would have told us,” I said.

Chris and I descended back down to 20 feet and headed for 120 reef.

We had agreed that if conditions really sucked, we would head in after 20 minutes.

Visibility really sucked!

We slowly did a tour around the reef; I looked at my watch more than my air.

After 15 minutes had passed, I turned and started to head back.

When the vis got down to almost nothing, we surfaced and swam in.

The waves were a little more fierce than before and I couldn’t get one of my fins off, so I ended up crawling up the rocky beach.

I thought to myself, “It almost feels like I can walk with that fin on.”

I looked back and saw my fin washing away; I grabbed it before the ocean gods could take the sacrifice.

After another macho walk back up the hill, my brother Paul, Dan and Hollywood from Divevets, were awaiting the start of the festivities.

We fired up the charcoal to have a real barbecue.

The birthday boy and girl – TwinDuct and Hollywood.

The first course was scallop sashimi.

Instructor Ed takes over the grill.

On today’s menu – South Korean food! Kim Chi, rice, raw onions, raw garlic, barbecued shrimp and marinated cross cut ribs.

I no longer bring North Korean food because nobody liked dirt soup, roasted rats or leaf and bark salad.

At the top of their lungs, someone yelled, “Oh crap, it’s the cops!”

A really hot looking Deputy pulled in; a few of the divers offered to be arrested as long as she was the one who frisked them.

Last week, the Department of Fish and Game showed up, this week it was the Sheriff.

We offered her a beer, but she declined.

“You guys are amazing, have a nice day,” the hot Deputy said; she backed up and drove away.

The first of the ribs came off the grill; they went fast.

The New Chris also grilled some marinated meat, bratwursts and garlic bread.

Nick and new diver Jill also showed up and brought more beer and pork tenderloins.

Jill also brought Vodka and Orange Juice and proceeded to get a few participants hammered on the hard stuff; Instructor Ed toasted Paul with straight shots.

Jill wants a nickname to fit in, so “Screw Diver” has been suggested.

Nick and Jill want me to give them a tour of the cinder blocks, traffic cones and trash that’s off of Veteran’s Park until Jill can be comfortable diving Long Point.

Maybe I’ll take them on a night dive?

So, we had been out of the water for over an hour, maybe an hour and a half.

I asked New Chris, “Is that diver who was suppose to dive with us back yet?”

We looked around, he wasn’t back.

Concerned, six people walked to the cliff to try and spot any sign of him.

Vis absolutely sucked, so why would anyone want to be out this long?

He is also a fairly new diver; I believe he has under 30 dives.

Also, after about an hour and a half, it is doubtful that he would have any air left if he was still underwater.

I started to imagine that maybe his sudden descent was a result of a health issue; maybe we should have made a better effort to find him?

Solo diving is fine; but the plan was to dive with us and his separation was very abrupt.

Dan from Divevets remarked, “Well, lets not wait too much longer, we need to call someone.”

Bob W. and I walked to the other side of the cliff, but still saw no sign of him; we planned to send a couple guys down in snorkeling gear to try and find “the body” while we called the Coast Guard.

Just as I was walking back up to the fork in the path, the diver emerged from the trail’s top switch back.

By the time we got cliff side, the diver was already walking up, but we didn’t see him.

He left his bottom timer at home, had no idea how long he was under and apparently spent some time on the rocky beach before heading up.

What a relief!

The last thing I want to do is go looking for a dead body, especially of someone I know.

We begged him to communicate better on future dives.

So now, the party continues!

To make a tribute to the Old Marineland of The Pacific, my brother Paul wore his old name tag from 20+ years ago…

Yes, my brother and I both worked here when it was Marineland of the Pacific.

He was in “Food Service” pouring beer and sipping some to assure the quality; I was in “Merchendising” running the carnival games at the back of the park.

Basically, I took all the money away from the drunks my brother earlier served.

We have a blender, stove and now someone even brought an easy chair; let’s see who can top what next week?

“Hey Paul, there’s some sort of mysterious yellow fluid leaking from your truck!”

Ana, aka “Wrinkles,” dove with Dennis G after a hiatus from the group; he’s a very lucky man to be diving with such a hot chick.

Wrinkles however, left the party early to watch a football game; apparently, football is more important to her than hanging out with us.

The party started to die down around 1 PM; Dan left but the other Bob from Divevets showed up.

Hollywood hung onto Bob; she has the most resistance to guys who drive Plymouth Dusters that I’ve ever seen.

We wrapped up around 2 PM and I gave my brother a few dollars to take the trash away.