Yes, it’s that time of the year!

Just like the beginning of any hunting season, every yahoo with diving equipment or a hoop net crowds the waters waiting for midnight, unless you are like these poaching douche bags.

And every year we hear about diver deaths on Opening Night.

So much so, that the DFG has been debating for years on whether to officially start lobster season at dawn.

So far they haven’t changed the start time, probably because it’s a stupid idea and will only push problems later on in the day.

Most have died because of a lack of experience, heart attacks, being run over by a boat or trying to “out macho” other divers.

As far as being a macho lobster hunter, nobody will ever match the lobster hunting of The Duke – so there is no need to go outside of your abilities.

John Wayne took frequent trips to Acapulco, Mexico where he would engage in lobster hunting.

Talk about diving macho…

With no wet suit, gloves or even SCUBA diving equipment, The Duke would free dive down and catch bugs – or as he called them, “Red Coats.”

And, if he did it after 1964, he only had one lung!

Anyway, I have a stand-by spot on a large boat on Opening Night, so there is a good chance that I may not be going out.

I was told to just show up with cash in hand and wait until I get thrown off.

I told Chipper, “I know I’m a dick, but I’m not a total dick.”

Chipper replied, “You sell yourself short, you are a total dick.”

We will see what happens – and my ear has been bothering me again.

But who cares about an ear, I have two.

I have a total of six readers, and want to keep all of them, so be careful tonight.

I haven’t been diving since May, for various reasons.

I came back from my secret trip to Iowa with a cold from hell, but tried to get back in the water two weeks ago.

I geared up with Kenny and some 16 year old chick and made it all the way down to the cove where the pounding surf made us call the dive.

Nice Bob described his dive at the time as the only dive where he was nervous going out and coming back in.

Last week I celebrated too much Saturday, when Ronda Rousey beat the crap from that Brazillian bitch, to show up for Sunday services.

Today, I woke up with a cold and an earache.

I popped a bunch of Sudafed and drove to Terranea Resort with my gear, hoping for the best.

I had a choice between calling my dive again, or doing a very painful dive – my right ear was plugged.

I provided shore support to Chipper, Mike S., and Nice Bob.

All three went off the Point, and made entering in hazardous conditions look relatively easy.

I hung out around the Cove.

This Buds for you! Chipper, Mike S., and Nice Bob.

Chipper was disappointed in me; he said, “You don’t dive anymore, don’t update your blog regularly and show up to debrief in an Albania shirt looking like Zach from The Hangover.”

I look like Zach from The Hangover?

The Debrief.

Well, I have been keeping in shape by training for the Senior Citizens’ Division of the UFC…

I’ll try again next week to get in the water.

Oh, yeah – the dive report!

Chipper, Bob and Mike S. reported good conditions of 15 to 25 feet of visibility.