Sorry for being a dive and blogging slacker, but in my other life, I’ve been busy trying to get a squatter out of my home.

When the day comes, and it should be soon, I will try and throw a massive The Evil Bitch Is Gone Party.

I also have heard that our seas have been plagued by heavy surf and red tide, so maybe I haven’t missed as much as I think.

As everyone should know, the oil is still leaking in the Gulf of Mexico.

Yesterday, I was pumping gas at an ARCO Station when I noticed the guy getting gas in front of me had a “Boycott British Petroleum” bumper sticker.

As he’s pumping gas in an ARCO?

Anyway, ocean current models are predicting that the oil will basically ruin the whole Eastern United States coastline.

Optimistic reports, usually made by BP, suggest that we will just “clean it up.”

The other extremes is that the oil will poison the ocean, and when the oil runs dry, the empty cavern will implode causing a tsunami that will wipe out the costal communities of the Southern Unites States.

Ocean currents likely to carry oil to Atlantic

To watch the video on YouTube, click here.

So how bad can the oil spill get?

To watch the video on YouTube, click here.

To further brighten your day, here’s the most depressing collection of pictures from the oil slick.

This spill was not a result of greedy capitalism, as some have charged, but a poorly run company with 760 OSHA violations – Exxon has just one.

As far as criticism that the federal government isn’t doing enough to stop the leak?

I think British Petroleum would know how to stop that leak better than the any government.

Besides, if the federal government were to take over the cap and clean up efforts, all they would do is contract BP anyway.

So, on to a lighter note.

I attended the SCUBA Show in Long Beach on May 15th and was able to shoot some OK footage with my new homemade 3D video rig.

Red over the left eye, blue over the right…

To watch the video on YouTube, click here.

I’ll perfect my technique, in addition to the YouTube 3D tags.

Hopefully, I will get in the water soon, if nothing other than a free dive.

No friends – and enemies – I am not dead, just busy with some non-diving related drama.

Question: How is hooking up with a psychotic girlfriend like stepping in a pile of dog shit?

Answer: Psychotic women and shit on a shoe are extremely hard to get rid of.

Think how lucky the guy is who hooks up with this crazy bitch:

To watch this video on YouTube, click here.

And yes, some guy will be dumb enough.

So, to all my single friends who may be so desperate to find love that you’ll hook up with basically anyone, remember the following fairy tale:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said, ‘NO!’

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The end

OK, enough filler.

A week ago Sunday was Diver’s Day at the Aquarium Of The Pacific.

Unfortunately, I was not able to go.

Luckily, we can live through the adventure by Professional Debriefer Paul’s excellent video:

To watch this exciting video on YouTube and subscribe to his channel, click here.

And once again, the Divevet’s fifth annual Underwater Easter Egg Hunt was a big success.

A big diver turn out, competing for thousands of dollars worth of prizes.

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend.

But, we are lucky again, as Professional Debriefer Paul has once again professionally documented the event.

To watch this video and subscribe to his channel, click here.

I will be back in the water soon – stay tuned!