No friends – and enemies – I am not dead, just busy with some non-diving related drama.

Question: How is hooking up with a psychotic girlfriend like stepping in a pile of dog shit?

Answer: Psychotic women and shit on a shoe are extremely hard to get rid of.

Think how lucky the guy is who hooks up with this crazy bitch:

To watch this video on YouTube, click here.

And yes, some guy will be dumb enough.

So, to all my single friends who may be so desperate to find love that you’ll hook up with basically anyone, remember the following fairy tale:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said, ‘NO!’

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The end

OK, enough filler.

A week ago Sunday was Diver’s Day at the Aquarium Of The Pacific.

Unfortunately, I was not able to go.

Luckily, we can live through the adventure by Professional Debriefer Paul’s excellent video:

To watch this exciting video on YouTube and subscribe to his channel, click here.

And once again, the Divevet’s fifth annual Underwater Easter Egg Hunt was a big success.

A big diver turn out, competing for thousands of dollars worth of prizes.

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend.

But, we are lucky again, as Professional Debriefer Paul has once again professionally documented the event.

To watch this video and subscribe to his channel, click here.

I will be back in the water soon – stay tuned!

After high surf advisories, flash flood and tornado warnings, the storms here in Southern California are subsiding.

Yes, there was an actual tornado warning here a few days ago…

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN OXNARD HAS ISSUED A * TORNADO WARNING FOR… SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES COUNTY IN SOUTHWEST CALIFORNIA… THIS INCLUDES THE CITY OF LONG BEACH… * UNTIL 115 PM PST

Max Bottomtime has pointed out a problem with beach access at Terranea Resort.

Thank You Max for the following:

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Due to the current storm activity, the following public trails at the Terranea Resort have sustained significant damage and are temporarily closed to the public for safety reasons until further notice:

— The Terranea Beach & Cove Access Trail – please do not attempt to access this trail or the beach while it remains closed.

— The Discovery Trail (at the southern point of the property beneath the spa building). The rest of the Discovery Trail continues to be open and an alternate route around the damaged portion of the trail is available.

The Links at Terranea golf course is expected to be open following the conclusion of the storm. The Resort, restaurants and spa remain open with normal business hours.

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Thank you Crazy Ivan for the following Tiger Shark photo and warning:

This picture was taken off of our coast, before the rains.

Be careful when you go back in the water, the Tiger shark is still out on the prowl.

Rain is forecast for this coming Tuesday; I plan on staying dry this weekend while the runoff dissipates.