March 27, 2013

Apologies to my three readers, for not getting wet, or posting anything for over a month.

The conditions have been sort of crappy, but I haven’t been doing well myself.

So, before I get to the dive, allow me to fill you in on what’s been happening with me for the last month or so.

Two years ago in May, the Evil and Wicked Bitch that was ruining my life left the country to torture the men in her homeland; I have been ecstatic over her absence and thought it would be easy to move on with my life.

Unfortunately, even going out to lunch with my old female friends who would throw me a mercy date every once in a while, has been impossible.

I’m not sure what the deal is; I thought women would be flocking to me once I became “single” again, but that’s just not the case, and being alone sometimes really sucks.

I’ve been corresponding with a 27 year old women who lives in Chowchilla, and we seem to have hit it off fairly well.

The problem is, if she gets paroled next year, she’s going to need a place to live; and the closer her parole date gets, the more she tells me that she is in love with me.

There is no way I’m ever going to let someone “temporarily” stay with me again.

So with this depression, I have had the bad habit of cutting out the diving and going straight to the debriefing.

I’ve been riding my bicycle to get some exercise, but I would usually ride to a local watering hole – burning 500 calories bike riding and consuming 1000 calories in beer, is no way to get back in shape.

As a matter of fact, in my pursuit for the perfect beer, I found myself in the background of the Spike TV Show Bar Rescue.

That’s me in the Dive N Surf T-Shirt and Albania hat – the blonde chick is obviously paid to be there; women tend not to come into the dank holes that I frequent.

Anyway, I’ve been tired of being tired, and now, it’s time for SCUBA diving to save my life once again, as it did ten years ago.

I’m gonna start diving Vets again and Terranea Resort on a much more regular basis, and take all the boat trips that I can afford.

It’s better, healthier and cheaper than sitting in a dive bar, and the people I meet diving tend to, for lack of better words, have their shit together.

So, onto my dive…

I arrived at Veterans Park around 5:30 PM, with plenty of sunlight still out.

Night dive, day dive, I needed to get wet.

I geared up, and made an extremely easy entrance into the water – the water was flat, and I never lost view of the ocean floor – visibility was that good.

All of a sudden, I felt some chest pains – like indigestion.

I was hoping it was either the chile I had for lunch, or maybe it’s just me getting used to humping gear after a month.

But the bright side was, I didn’t have a buddy to freak out if I went into cardiac arrest.

Logged SCUBA Dive #433

Solo Diving
Veterans Park, Redondo Beach, California, USA

In With: 3000 psi
Out With: 500 psi
Max depth: 92 feet
Waves: Ankle biters, flat
Visibility: 10-20 feet
Water Temperature: 55 degrees
Air Temperature: 62 degrees
Total Bottom Time: 36 minutes

I submerged in 20 feet of water and made my way slowly to the edge of the canyon.

My auxiliary seconds stage started to free flow – it was dragging in the sand, so a few hard hits to remove the sand freed it up.

I slowly went West and deeper.

This is the first dive I’ve taken here since the “Beach re-nourishment” project that pumped tons of sand and trash from Marina Del Rey to Redondo Beach – it took a long time to get to 92 feet.

At 80 feet, there was a huge lobster, just walking along the sand in broad daylight – yep, he knows I can’t touch him.

He posed for photos and video as I cussed him out.

I turned around at 92 feet, and all of a sudden, the visibility went from good to zero – was I in the silt that I had kicked up coming here?

Something really big passed by the side and over me.

Fuck!

I grabbed my knife, stowed my camera, and prepared to fight off a shark… I continued to swim.

The sunlight was again blocked, I looked up, and it was a seal dive bombing me!

I put my knife back and resumed videoing.

The seal was playing around, and probably just as bored as I was.

The seal looked like someone sowed his head back onto his body.

Getting down to 1000 psi, I headed slowly back up the canyon and made an uneventful swim and safety stop back to a perfect exit.

I really didn’t know anyone in the parking lot – in times past, I knew everyone.

Dan from Divevets, eventually pulled up, and so did Mean Bob.

Dan with his lap dog, Chewy.

DiverJeff from San Pedro introduced himself.

We talked and debriefed with a few beers and cigars.

I’ve often been critical about how boring a dive Vets Park can be – but it’s better than rotting in a dive bar or sitting at home watching internet porn.

I need to get back into the swing of things; I’m going to try and dive twice a week and start an exercise plan, including a better diet.

Talk is cheap, so stay tuned for my progress.

To celebrate Paris Hilton’s birthday, I invited her via email for a dive a post-dive celebration at Terranea Resort.

She never responded and didn’t show up, but the dive went on anyways.

A total of six divers showed up, including the famous Reverend Al; a new diver, David, joined the group.

We dove from the Cove; entry was easy.

We surface swam to the rocky finger outside of Pigeon Shit Cave.

I buddied up with SCJoe.

Logged SCUBA Dive #432

Dove with SCJoe
The Cove At Terranea Resort, California, USA

In With: 3000 psi
Out With: 800 psi
Max depth: 42 feet
Waves: Some chop, but easy entry and exit
Visibility: 10 feet, some places maybe 15
Water Temperature: 52 degrees
Air Temperature: 67 degrees
Total Bottom Time: 46 minutes

The visibility could have been better, but it was better than zero visibility…

We followed Jordan most of the dive, and half way through I thought, “Where the hell is he taking us?”

We definitely toured some areas that I had not seen in many years, and as Jordan later said, “Why see the same old stuff every time?”

A Sea Urchin Mace.

Even though it wasn’t a great day for photos, Jordan pointed something out that we couldn’t identify and I was able to take a picture of it for later identification.

So what is this? It looks like a yellow booger of some sort.

During my attempts at photography, we lost Jordan.

I thought I lost SCJoe a few times, but he was always there, usually right behind or above me.

We surfaced to get a bearing, and discovered we were way on the other side of the Cave in about 25 feet of water.

We took new compass headings and headed in.

We all had easy exits.

The beach was crowded with tourists and other onlookers.

The first thing I said once we were ashore, in my best foreign accent, was “Did we reach America?”

There was a dive boat anchored nearby.

We were asked, again, if we were with the boat.

“Uhm, no, we are poor divers, the divers on the boat are rich divers.”

The Ghetto Grill cooked some Beer Brats.

Traditional debriefing ensued.

New diver David said that he’s not a beer person.

Someone jokingly said, “Well, I have a couple line of coke over here, if you want.”

We explained to him, that you don’t have to drink beer, just bring beer.

Jordan wore one of the best diving themed T-shirts I had ever seen.

All in all, even though Paris Hilton didn’t show up for her birthday dive, it was a good day.

To view this video on YouTube, click here.