So now, after reading The Basics of California Lobster Hunting On SCUBA and The Secrets To A Successful Southern California Lobster Season you are sure to come back from your trips with a bag full of lobsters.

So, once caught, what the hell do you do with them?

Take Pictures To Prove That You Are Macho

I always pose with my bugs; I look so macho holding something that looks like a giant cockroach.

TIP: Holding an average sized lobster by an antennae and close to the camera makes it look a lot larger.

Also, wearing sunglasses at night makes you look even more cool!

The “line your lobsters up and pose with them” also makes even the novice of lobster hunters look macho.

Keeping Your Lobsters In Transit

If you keep your lobsters in a net bag, they are usually able to live for 24 to 48 hours out of the water.

Putting them in fresh water or keeping them in a plastic bag will kill them fairly quickly.

I know of someone who shipped live lobsters via next day UPS in a box with holes through it, lined with wet newspaper; they arrived alive.

Putting A Lobster Out Of Its Misery

Lobsters live such miserable lives – hiding in holes during the day, and foraging for rotting flesh during the night – that if they could talk, they would probably thank you for killing them.

Boiling Alive:

So how do you know if a lobster is still alive?

As long as the carapace is still attached to the tail and it doesn’t smell like rotting seafood, it might still be alive.

If true, even the most lifeless of lobsters will start to move when you hold it above a boiling pot of water…

For those who are going to boil your lobsters and are not sadistic, make sure it’s a rolling boil; if not, your lobster will spend the last few minutes of its life swimming backwards in frantic circles around your pot until the life slowly and painfully drains from it.

If that happens, when you die, you will reincarnate into a spiny lobster and face the same torment.

Boil the lobster for 10 to 20 minutes depending on its size; it will turn a bright orange when done.

I put salt and raw garlic in the water to enhance the flavor.

Remove the tail from the carapice and split the tail down the center; remove its “vein” (aka butt hole) before eating.

I personally would not eat a dead, whole lobster; that’s why I prefer to tail and freeze my catch to eat later…

Tailing and Freezing

Remember, you have to keep the lobsters whole until you are on shore!

Usually, by that time, the lobsters are in a great amount of shock and are preparing to die anyway.

So with your gloves on, grab the carapace with one hand and the tail with your other – pull and twist the tail off.

Scrape any residual guts off the top of the tail.

Some hunters will try and be humane by smashing the lobster’s head with a hammer first, but they don’t have much of a brain, anyway.

Now, to help in the preservation process…

De-Assing The Tail

I had a hard time figuring this part out for a while, until I got a demonstration from the Divevets’ ass expert.

“The vein” down the middle of the lobster is actually its butt hole; you should remove it.

Break off one of the lobster’s antennas, take the base (large end) of the antenna, insert it up the asshole about a quarter to a half inch, give it a twist and pull the antenna back out.

The whole butt hole vein should follow.

Need pictures?

Here is an illustrated guide on how to tail and de-ass your lobsters.

Freezing Your Lobster Tails

I take a freezer bag and mark on the outside with a sharpie, the date, where caught and the words “raw lobster – de-veined” (that helps if I give them away) and put them in my freezer; they have stayed good for nine months in that condition.

Some hunters will vacuum pack the tails in the bag, but I hear the tail’s spikes puncture the plastic.

Remember, the DFG state that you cannot have more than seven lobster tails in your possession at one time, including your freezer; but, I have heard of hunters giving them away to family members in their household.

When you’re ready to eat the tails, thaw them in warm water for 10 minutes or so; the shell will turn an orange color in the process.

2008 Lobster Season Predictions

Since I do so well at the race track, I’ll lend my talent to predicting the 2008 lobster season.

If the weather stays moderate, with only a few storms late this year, the 2008 lobster season should be better than last year’s, but not as good as the 2006 season.

During the 2006 season, divers and hoop netters were limiting on practically every trip.

That cleaned a lot of the bugs from the coast, leading to speculation that there was a lobster shortage in the 2007 season; I think there was only a shortage of lobsters caught.

Storms last season continued into February and March, keeping the lobsters deep.

Late in the season, the lobsters weren’t shallow, and they weren’t as “deep” as 120 feet; but, in talking with some tech divers who dove the Sacramento wreck, which rests at 300 feet, I was assured, “the lobsters are all down at 240 feet and deeper.”

So, last season, they were chased deeper and never had a reason to come back shallow before the season ended.

With the weather having stayed fairly mild this summer and lobsters being spotted in the shallows recently, we should have a good 2008 season.

Lobster Recipes

I personally don’t prepare lavish lobster recipes, but I have never had a complaint.

Boil and eat:

If you’ve boiled your lobsters alive, just keep the heat on until they’re done; again, 10 to 20 minutes depending on the size, just like in the example above.

If you over cook them, the meat will be mushy.

Cut down the middle of the shell lengthwise, split and – if you haven’t done this yet – take the vein out.

Serve American style with melted butter, or Mexican style with Tapatio sauce.

Bake and eat:

Take a thawed or raw, de-asses lobster tail, split it lengthwise and put it on a large sheet of aluminum foil.

I put butter, garlic and salt on top of the meat; you can also put olive oil, Parmesan cheese, or whatever you think might go good with lobster.

Wrap the tails in the foil and put in the oven for 10 to 20 minutes at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit; the time depends on the size of the tails.

The last five minutes, unwrap the tails, add more butter or olive oil and let the top brown.

Be sure not to let the meat get too dehydrated, otherwise it will stick to the shell.

Lobsters do not make an entire meal by themselves.

I serve mine with steak, green beans and mashed potatoes; so American is this dish, that I have given it the name “George Bush’s Favorite Meal.”

I will collect and post other recipes throughout the season, as I obtain them.

An official Department of Fish and Game lobster brochure can be found here.

If you find yourself in the situation of having more than seven lobster tails at one time this season, and no friends to give them to, you can send excess frozen tails to the address on my contact page; please send me an email so I will be sure to pick them up before they thaw and rot.

Good luck this season!