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    April 4, 2009

    SCUBA Diving Veteran’s Park, Redondo Beach, California

    Logged SCUBA Dive #338

    Veteran’s Park, Redondo Beach, CA

    Solo Diving

    In With: 3000 psi
    Out With: 500 psi
    Max depth: 111 feet
    Waves: Breaking on shore, but pretty flat once out
    Visibility: 5 to 8 feet
    Temperature: 56 degrees, colder at depth
    Total Bottom Time: About 35 minutes

    Having not been in the water since the end of lobster season, I needed to test my diving skills to avoid a refresher course.

    I met my friend Nick; I though he was going to dive with me, but he just came to collect money and drink beer.

    Reports from returning divers didn’t get my hopes up that conditions were spectacular, but I did hear the key words – “It’s diveable.”

    I made an easy entry into the water

    Students Enter Off The Sand

    A lot of diving students were at Vets Park.

    I submerged in 18 feet of water and hit the bottom before I saw it.

    I headed West to go over the shelf and look for better visibility.

    A crab smiles for the camera.

    A crab smiles for the camera.

    A second crab muscles in on the shot.

    A second crab muscles in on the shot.

    Vis I would have to admit, really sucked.

    Actually, to put it in divers’ technical jargon, visibility really sucked ass.

    I headed down to 111 feet and got a little narced; and what do narced divers do at 111 feet when they’re solo diving in bad visibility?

    I started practicing my singing – singing through my regulator.

    After all, who was I going to annoy?

    Me singing through my regulator.

    I hummed the theme song to Gone With The Wind, Hawaii Five-0, and sang my rendition of El Rey and I Walk The Line; I really have no idea why I chose those titles.

    I made my way back to the edge of the shelf and slowly ascended the canyon wall.

    I was heading back in, slowly swimming, accomplishing my safety stop at the same time when I came across something that scared the shit out of me.

    What is it?

    I couldn’t recognize what it was…

    Sea junk terrorizes the ocean floor

    … it’s just sea junk!

    I surfaced in 10 feet of water just steps away from where I went in.

    Debriefing took place in the parking lot with Nick and the Saturday morning Divevets crowd.

    April 2, 2009

    America’s Dumbest Diver

    Filed under: Humor,News Clippings

    You have three arrest warrants and a pending sentence for possession of a controlled substance, receiving stolen property and second-degree burglary.

    What do you do?

    Answer: Go SCUBA diving in Laguna Beach and make it appear as though you never return to shore.

    After $50,000 in fire boats, helicopters, snorkelers and dive teams search for your body, you are assumed “trapped under water – possibly in one of any number of underwater caves near Laguna Beach.”

    So now, you’re pretty much considered dead.

    Do you head to Mexico?

    Do you defect to North Korea or Cuba?

    Do you go to 7th and Alvarado and buy a new identity?

    No! You go to Los Angeles to try and steal your recently sold Mercedes Benz back from the new owner.

    Low on cash?

    No problem, just go to Las Vegas and add a few chips after the outcome of a bet.

    The only problem is, Guido the pit boss doesn’t like you doing that, and unlike the Las Vegas of 20 years ago, instead of beating your ass in the back of the casino, they now just call the Police.

    Is John Sun Park America’s dumbest diver?

    You can read the complete story here: Diver who police say faked his death is arrested

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