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  • April 2, 2009

    America’s Dumbest Diver

    Filed under: Humor,News Clippings

    You have three arrest warrants and a pending sentence for possession of a controlled substance, receiving stolen property and second-degree burglary.

    What do you do?

    Answer: Go SCUBA diving in Laguna Beach and make it appear as though you never return to shore.

    After $50,000 in fire boats, helicopters, snorkelers and dive teams search for your body, you are assumed “trapped under water – possibly in one of any number of underwater caves near Laguna Beach.”

    So now, you’re pretty much considered dead.

    Do you head to Mexico?

    Do you defect to North Korea or Cuba?

    Do you go to 7th and Alvarado and buy a new identity?

    No! You go to Los Angeles to try and steal your recently sold Mercedes Benz back from the new owner.

    Low on cash?

    No problem, just go to Las Vegas and add a few chips after the outcome of a bet.

    The only problem is, Guido the pit boss doesn’t like you doing that, and unlike the Las Vegas of 20 years ago, instead of beating your ass in the back of the casino, they now just call the Police.

    Is John Sun Park America’s dumbest diver?

    You can read the complete story here: Diver who police say faked his death is arrested

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