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    November 19, 2016

    Finally! A Lobster Boat and a Lobster Dive!

    November 18, 2016

    Sorry for slacking lately!

    I’ve had some issues other than diving to take care of, and since this blog is only a small tax write off, I am forced to keep my regular job as a full time peon.

    Chipper told me about a lobster boat that Nice Bob was chartering and said, “Since Donna The Hot Biker Chick can’t go, we decided to invite you.”

    This time, I actually had the money, or at least enough room on my credit card.

    The boat was the six pack diving boat “The Island Diver” that I have been on many times before; Dive N Surf brought the boat from Rocky Point a few years ago.

    Getting Ready

    We were all geared up and off by 6:10 PM.

    Getting Ready

    The diving crew consisted of The Other Jeff, Nice Bob, Reverend Al, some guy named Joe, Chipper and myself; the DM and Captain made it complete.

    We thought we would try no deeper than 50 feet, so we headed to a secret location off of Palos Verdes picked by the Captain.

    Lobster Cam
    I was the first one off, carrying my new invention – The Lobster Cam!

    Logged SCUBA Dive #503

    Solo Diving

    SECRET LOCATION: 43 61 70 74 61 69 6e 20 6e 61 6d 65 64 20 73 75 72 66 20 73 70 6f 74 20 73 6b 69 20 6a 75 6d 70, Palos Verdes, CA

    In With: 3100 psi
    Out With: 500 psi
    Max depth: 43 feet
    Waves: Surface was flat, some surge at the bottom
    Visibility: 10-15 feet with some silt
    Water Temperature: 62 degrees
    Air Temperature: 66 degrees
    Total Bottom Time: 36 minutes

    I descended and dropped on sand and started to swim towards shore.

    All I saw was sand; I asked myself, “Why the hell did we come here?”

    There was no structure here at all and I was a little pissed.

    I ended up finding a small reef, but it was barren of even short lobsters.

    I surfaced to get my bearings and discovered I was right next to the boat – I had been going around in circles.

    I submerged again and headed towards the shore.

    Visibility was patchy as there was some surge.

    Lobster Cam footage

    I started to see short lobsters and then was able to pin an obvious legal one – until I measured it; yeah, it was short.

    When I got down to 700 psi, I spotted a large lobster; without hesitation, I swam over and pinned it, just as my leg started to cramp.

    I am macho, so I easily ignored the pain.

    It was like grabbing a beer can!

    I put it directly in my bag, surfaced and swam to the boat.

    I was the first one back; we remeasured the lobster using the Captain’s lobster gauge and it was short.

    It was the girth of a beer can, how the fuck could it be short?

    I was just about to throw it back, when I remeasured with my gauge – it was way legal!

    We were accidentally using the “Crab” gauge side, and not the lobster side – Phew!

    Other divers made it back with either one or two lobsters, except for one exception.

    Me with my lobster
    Me with my lobster.

    The other Jeff and his lobster
    The Other Jeff caught the biggest one.

    We decided to move the boat to a “better spot” to be picked by Nice Bob and the Other Jeff.

    Lobster Cam Footage is here:

    Lobster CAM

    Stay tuned for a report of our second lobster dive!

    October 4, 2015

    The Lamest Opening Night Report Ever

    October 2, 2015

    I texted the Captain of the Westerly dive boat and asked if there was any way I could get on the boat tonight.

    He replied, “No chance, boat is FULL.”

    I waited too long to get my spot, as I wasn’t sure if I was over my illness or even had the money until just recently.

    Well, I’m not going to do the break wall, and there are five and a half more months to catch lobsters, so I stopped by Timeless Pints where I met some friends for a beer or two, or three, or four.

    I was asked if I wanted to go down to the Long Beach Aquarium for “Dive Night.

    Long Beach Dive Night

    A night dive?

    Hell, yeah!

    I went home and was picked up by my friends who were in an Uber car; I had my SCUBA gear with me.

    Well, that’s when I found out that “Dive Night” is just a name, and there is no diving on “Dive Night.”

    Long Beach Aquarium

    Well, what the hell else was I going to do?

    Live band.
    A live band.

    Storm Troopers.
    Storm Troopers.

    Jelly fish.
    Jelly fish.

    Long Beach break wall.
    The Long Beach Breakwater…

    A lobster!
    …at least I saw a lobster tonight.

    Live band

    I met this really hot chick who was a friend of my friends.

    After several rounds of $8 beers, she begged me to come to her place and fuck her.

    I found out from one of my friends that she is a little nutso and wants to get pregnant by anyone, so she can blame it on her fuck buddy that has a job and a nice house.

    “She takes a needle and pokes holes in his condoms,” I was told.

    After I stopped paying attention to her for 15 seconds, she was hanging on to some other guy, begging him to fuck her.

    Why are nut jobs attracted to me?

    Shark petting zoo
    Shark petting zoo.

    Weird chick
    I have no idea what this chick is doing.


    The night ended without incident.

    Talking to some people who went on the Westerly, some limited on the lobsters, most got one or two and a few got skunked.

    The season is just starting… sorry for the lame Opening Night Lobster Report.

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