{"id":3922,"date":"2015-10-04T00:20:40","date_gmt":"2015-10-04T07:20:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/?p=3922"},"modified":"2015-10-05T00:23:13","modified_gmt":"2015-10-05T07:23:13","slug":"the-lamest-opening-night-report-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/?p=3922","title":{"rendered":"The Lamest Opening Night Report Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

October 2, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n

I texted the Captain of the Westerly dive boat and asked if there was any way I could get on the boat tonight.<\/p>\n

He replied, “No chance, boat is FULL.”<\/p>\n

I waited too long to get my spot, as I wasn’t sure if I was over my illness or even had the money until just recently.<\/p>\n

Well, I’m not going to do the break wall, and there are five and a half more months to catch lobsters, so I stopped by Timeless Pints<\/a> where I met some friends for a beer or two, or three, or four.<\/p>\n

I was asked if I wanted to go down to the Long Beach Aquarium for “Dive Night.<\/a>”<\/p>\n

\"Long<\/p>\n

A night dive?<\/p>\n

Hell, yeah!<\/p>\n

I went home and was picked up by my friends who were in an Uber car; I had my SCUBA gear with me.<\/p>\n

Well, that’s when I found out that “Dive Night” is just a name, and there is no diving on “Dive Night.”<\/p>\n

\"Long<\/p>\n

Well, what the hell else was I going to do?<\/p>\n

\"Live
\nA live band.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Storm
\nStorm Troopers.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Jelly
\nJelly fish.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Long
\nThe Long Beach Breakwater…<\/em><\/p>\n

\"A
\n…at least I saw a lobster tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Live<\/p>\n

I met this really hot chick who was a friend of my friends.<\/p>\n

After several rounds of $8 beers, she begged me to come to her place and fuck her.<\/p>\n

I found out from one of my friends that she is a little nutso and wants to get pregnant by anyone, so she can blame it on her fuck buddy that has a job and a nice house.<\/p>\n

“She takes a needle and pokes holes in his condoms,” I was told.<\/p>\n

After I stopped paying attention to her for 15 seconds, she was hanging on to some other guy, begging him to fuck her.<\/p>\n

Why are nut jobs attracted to me?<\/p>\n

\"Shark
\nShark petting zoo.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Weird
\nI have no idea what this chick is doing.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Spectators\"<\/p>\n

The night ended without incident.<\/p>\n

Talking to some people who went on the Westerly, some limited on the lobsters, most got one or two and a few got skunked.<\/p>\n

The season is just starting… sorry for the lame Opening Night Lobster Report.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

October 2, 2015 I texted the Captain of the Westerly dive boat and asked if there was any way I could get on the boat tonight. He replied, “No chance, boat is FULL.” I waited too long to get my spot, as I wasn’t sure if I was over my illness or even had the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,20,19,25,7,9,11],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3922"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3922"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3922\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3950,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3922\/revisions\/3950"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychosolodiver.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}